Sometimes I wonder who can listen to the screams in a writers silence. It’s a well known fact that majorly all writers are intoverts not because they hate talking to people but only because they observe anything and everything around them.
I am a writer and true to the definition I am an introvert to the core but sometimes just sometimes I wonder if people can understand the fact that sometimes my words indicate things I loudly want to cry out. Sometimes when I don’t say anything it means that I am ready to breakdown.
Sometimes, my silence means much more than the ignorance it indicates!
For all those who live away from the comfort of their homes are well versed with the concept of Laundry Day- Sunday. But what to do when your laundry day turns out to be rainy, and u have a pile of clothes as high as the Eiffel tower in your room…
Waiting for rains to take rest for a few hours !
I have always loved watching Grey’s Anatomy and somewhere I believe that I as a person resonate so much with the protagonist Meredith. We all have our greys, blacks and whites. For those of you who have watched the series, u know that for every Grey Mer had she had her person, Yang by her side. For me, the past few days have been Grey and i am still on the lookout for my person.
Sure there are people around, sure they are there in my blacks and whites, but what about my greys, who will support me when i encounter grey’s. And believe you me, its that time of the day, week, month and year when we need someone to absorb all that grey from our lives, for it is only through the mutual support of fellow human beings that we can continue to strive on this planet, people call Earth.
The indian counterparts of these Western series dramatize life way too much, for them there is only Blacks or Whites all around. Maybe, this is just another unending search for Eternal Bliss!
I am a writer dressed as a Manager.
I can see verses in strategies. I can see stories in the Data. I can see symbolism in markets. Now, this is something not many people know about me.
I am a writer whose currently suffering from a Writer’s block. I am a writer who needs a vent. I am a person who doesn’t know how to lament!
I hate Saturdays, they remind me too much of home! On a random Saturday morning of yet another weekend where i couldn’t afford to leave Hostel sweet Hostel for the comfort of home, i decided to sit and write. As i pen this down, i have no clue what i am writing, just hitting the alphabets as they are being processed by the brain. Maybe something is amiss, i have learnt to avoid the only one thing that made me, well ME. This is the third resumption to this article that happened due to numerous reasons.
In this fast paced life when time moves ahead at a breakneck speed, i somehow seem to be falling behind with all my baggage dwindling around!
I write today after a long, long time. The impending exams dont scare me anymore. The fear of being judged has evaporated now. Today i stand tall and take pride in being me.
I am a little broken, a little stupid.
I am a little stubborn, a little weird.
I am a little too sweet, a little too avenging..
I write today to convey nothing actually. Just that, it has been long since I’ve actually talked my heart out to somebody.
Some people are busy, some are away and yet some are near and far away.. Its just been long someone has seen me being weak.. Its been so long that i cant even recall the last time, i stumbled and someone held my hand..
Its just been a long monotonous time with college and all.. Its just been a robotic period wherein human emotions maybe deserted me.. Its just been too long..
As i sit to write after a long, long time my room is dimly lit, with some memories in my eyes and some dreams in this life, i start to fathom all the above.
2015 has been another long, long year not only because it had the Maximum weekends as some newsreport claimed, but because today i cant even remember how it looked like in the beginning.
As i close my eyes to recall the year, the most dominating memories are of happiness of finally being able to make it to a bschool, of being able to travel relentlessly, of having made great friends, of having done all that i always wished for.. 2015 was a great year, it gave me love, laughter, friends, life, education, an internship and every materialistic thing i could’ve asked for..
At the same time, it took away from me a friend, a person who carried a piece of my existence, a friend in times of need and a best friend otherwise. Yes, i do regret the loss.. But can i blame it on anyone, or myself for having become too vulnerable to things or should i just shrug it off saying that change is imminent and change is like Life’s middle name.
All set and done, i am happy with whatever i have at this precise moment and with this, i would like to wish each and everyone a very very Happy New Year..
Now that the clouds of dust have settled
Now that the sun is out again
I can finally see myself, standing amidst the rain.
Now that the dust vanished
Now that the moon eclipsed
Now that the dreams shattered
I stand amidst the rain.
Thunderous ways of life
All I can find are Oxymoronic Lies
The mirror seems to refute and refuse
Removing me from its refuge
And now I am all alone
Under the rain of the Sun.
In the kind of world that we live in, all in all that matters is Pretention. Pretending to be good is considered equivalent to being good.
Especially the kind of corporate culture that we as youngsters aspire for, is full of this virtue..
Even after spending almost 2 months here, i still can’t get the hang of this life and these people around. Perception and pretention, it seems are the only two things that matter here.