Rendered Incapable Of LOVE….

“in the dark night..

amongst the shadows she walked…

holding a secret in her heart…

and amongst the shady trees she walked….

holding someone close to her heart…”

well, this will probably be the most self centered and boring post for all the followers of the blog(which i am pretty sure don’t really exist).

Ever since the word ‘crush’ was introduced in our dictionary there has been that someone i have had a crush on… the crush led to friendship which made me aware about the whole new person he  is … about the qualities of head and heart that has been bestowed upon him by god… the crush changed into a liking which furthered to love….and ever since that day he has been the only person i have loved … he will always be the one person i will love.. nobody can ever take his place…. its not that we jumped into a relation upon realizing all this… we have been friends… might not be the best of friends but yeah we were and still are pretty good friends… but it hurts to know that he probably wont ever reciprocate the same feelings… it hurts to know that someone i have loved so much … the only one i have loved till date considers me only a friend… the irony is that at times, we have been discussing his love life… and for all the people who would say JEEZ , JUST MOVE ON.. i would like to make clear that it isnt that i have tried moving on… i have been trying to move on for what would be some 2 years now… throughout this period, both of us have had our crushes, our share of relationships but still today it feels as though all that was false coz there has been absolutely nobody on my mind apart from that one person for years now. It is at times equally frustrating to know that i have been crying over someone who doesnt really care about them. After whatever has happened till date , it doesnt feel good at all when someone says I LOVE YOU… its just that love for someone has rendered me incapable of love… its just that what come may, there might be anybody in my life but he has and will always be in my heart like a secret which i cant possibly let go off…