Right from the start, all that i have heard is that life isn’t fair and it never shall be… well, true… but does this make it easier to live this mess… frankly, i don’t think so…
I have been on the face of the earth for more than 2 decades now and the only thing that is not messed up is the word NOTHING… right from studies to love life to family to career, at this moment everything seems so imperfect.. so  not what i wanted it to be… it has started to look like there is absolutely no way i could ever do anything to straighten everything out… the problem begins with leaving your home and dwelling in a single room with 2 people (hostel)… it just makes it so difficult to be away from my family… it seems like eternity before the faces of my mom and dad would magically appear in front of me instead of on the screen of the laptop…
coming here, i realized friendship isn’t easy either… a best friend i have, friends i have but still there is a tiny feeling in my heart the size of russia shouting you still have a long way to go …. being shy, life never bestowed a lot of friends on me.. but that has never deterred me from meeting new people… better less in number and true, rather than a crowd , so false, so untrue… is what i have always believed in…
college taught me relationships can be hard.. childhood crushes can crush your heart… sometimes, all people around can do is break your heart and teach a huge lesson to the pieces … i have also realized that no matter what happens, there is still a tiny bit of your heart which still would be theirs forever..
ever since i was 4 years old i have dreamed of being something i did finally achieve… yet today why does it feel that this is not what i had always worked for… it always makes me feel that i have always had to settle for much less than what i have deserved and wanted… this feeling of failure seems to grow exponentially on seeing the sublime expression on the faces of the two people who are my world…
the competition out there taught me that studies can be the hardest thing in the life… no matter how hard i tried, i have always landed a mediocre.. i want to be the best… i can be the best… its just that the rat race has made me a little skeptical about my own capabilities…
Having said all that, the only thing that has remained unsaid is, no matter how messy it gets, I WILL TRY.. coz The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but i have promises to keep and miles to go before i sleep.. and miles to go before i sleep…
so CHEERS TO A MESSED UP LIFE…
P.S. There have never been regrets in my heart for having messed up things because inspite of whatever i have done, i know it has affected only my life and hasn’t had any bad influence on anyone else… this mess reminds me that i still can control things… this mess makes me wanna live… this mess makes me happy… this mess is probably the best thing i have ever had…. 😀 😀
so KUDOS To the MESS…
Signing OFF>..
JUST A FACE IN THE CROWD.. 