Okay, I am a writer, I can write so many things, I can for almost every minute of every hour of everyday , but I am not very good at the verbal communication part .. Its just one of the things that I was born with as my father ( who by the way i emulate in everything ) isn’t good at it either. The problem is we both love each other and the bigger problem is neither of us knows how to say it. Lately, we miss each other a lot; each time I sit in the car he gave me, I can smell his presence so much so that I have completely adopted his driving style. Apart from this, i take an ‘impeccable’ temper from him, we both aren’t the biggest fans of stress & emotional confrontations, it just drives us mad and angry. And my mom, is always caught between this bedlam.
He’s my hero. He’s my idol. He’s the one I owe everything to. He was there the day I was born, he was there the day I lied about something, he was there the day I failed, he was there to ensure I got the best college, he was there with me to celebrate my recruitment, he was there with me to deal with the result of CAT result which I missed by a very narrow margin, he was just there always.. All my friends walked out, everyone bailed, he never did..
I know, its every parent’s duty to bring up their children, but to me he has been just more than a father, he has been my idol. I have grown up watching him, he’s the reason I wanted to be an Engineer. Ever since, I was little he ensured we got everything, from toys to love, there was not even a sliver less in our plates..
Yes, he has a terrible temper, yes, i am angry at him for things, but even after all this, he’s my father and i am his daughter. I love him and will always continue to do so. And, I know that when the day comes, he’s going to try to find me someone who’ll loves me more than he does, but i can surely say that that won’t be possible. As a kid, I used to copy anything and everything he did, right from the way he stood to the way he eats to the way he dresses up in the morning.. and now, I take after him so much that one of his long lost batch mate recognized me as his daughter even after not having met him for like 10 years. I never mean to fight with him or hurt him, just that I just can’t seem to say the right words. I feel safe when he’s with me, the world then seems full of only good things, when he isn’t there I have to be careful, but his presence makes me feel like a child, something that i really don’t wanna lose ever..
I write this, because I can’t say all this. I am a silent person, I don’t believe in saying words but today, I have realized that the words we hold inside might mean the world to someone and I do realize it’s not Father’s day or write you emotions day, but sometimes things left unsaid is not as lucrative as it may sound. Sometimes, words left unsaid can create voids so long & large that even time won’t be able to fill. Its time , take a look around, tell the people you love how you feel, and this time let it be your family. Tell your dad u love him, help your mother in the kitchen or maybe just sit and chat with your grandparents, Trust me they ask for nothing more than this, only this and their happiness, their smile would be best gift you’d ever get.