Ever since the first time we set foot in school, all we can ever dream of is becoming independent, of scoring a job which would help us realize all our dreams howsoever stupid they might be. An average Indian spends about a quarter of his/her life studying in various institutions and at various levels right from school to college to wherever life might take them, with the ultimate aim to start afresh on reaching that threshold, with the aim of starting anew, with a job which is considered the ultimate prerequisite of adulthood.
I write this sitting in a plane bound south to cross that threshold of being an ‘Adult’, of becoming a resource from a liability for the family. I leave behind numerous hours of study and fun in school and college. I leave behind the comfort of home and home cooked food. I leave behind family. I leave behind the innocence as I begin to step into the real world which by some people’s definition is equally vicious. I leave behind friends, foes and relatives who have been there always in their uniquely respective ways. I leave behind that stubborn teenager who wants everything done her way. I leave behind the emotional, sentimental me as I step ahead which by what people (which mostly includes my father) has told me aren’t valued or accounted for in the real, vicious world.
So much for moving on.
For all those who were wondering where I had vanished over the past few weeks, I am sure you would have guessed by now. Over the past few weeks, as I filled my suitcase with stuff I had to part briefly with this hobby of writing.
People ask me if it is easier to leave home after living in hostel for four years during my graduation, and each time I nod my head and say yes, definitely it’s easier. But when the D-Day comes and you see all your stuff packed and your mom holding back her tears, your grandmother waving goodbye as she holds herself , your siblings hugging you endlessly and your father travelling with you to make sure everything goes well, you realize it’s never ever easy to leave home, the place of all your childhood mischief, the place where you from a baby have grown up to become an independent woman, a place in whose refuge you can forget all the hard doings of the world. Last Night, I was flooded with calls from all the relatives and friends wishing luck and success, that was the moment that made me realize in spite of all the flaws in all the people I know, it is always nice to have some people around to watch out for you mainly in a wishing well kind of way. And today, when my best friend called for like the first time since I told her I was leaving, made me feel special. Only with the support and blessings of people we have, can we succeed, for it is always said you shall reap what you sow i.e. if you sow good wishes and positive energy to the universe, it too shall reciprocate that positively, however, vice versa ain’t true.
The past few weeks have been busy and I haven’t been able to really stay connected with people, but this post is my way of saying Thanks a lot guys, each one is special for me. Thanks so much for being there. As I cross this threshold, I know life is going to be hard, but knowing that there are people around to love and bless me makes me confident that I shall be able to overcome any obstacles that come my way. For all those who know me , do also know that I am not a very verbal person but yes, I can write, hence this is my way of thanking everyone who was, is or will be a part of this life.
It’s a bag of mixed feelings with excitement on the job, the nostalgia of home, the desperation for family and the anxiety for a new place, combined together to make a slightly confused, a bit confident and quite pumped up on adrenaline 21 year old.
This by people’s definition is called growing up.
Note: If you are away from home, and identify with anything written above, do contact me on email@example.com. You can also send in your write-ups, poems and I’ll surely share them.
Regards: Just A Face in Crowd.
P.S. Okay, so this one is almost a week and a half late and my first in what seems to be almost a month; for that i apologize and request you to please bear for now it is officially a corporate worker talking with you..