Confused Skepticism

432031_487994667896620_1712006328_nEver since childhood there was this one and only one thing that my parents always bugged me about , Studies. Exams, Career always seemed to be the topic of discussion in our house , even when relatives were visiting, all they used to continue blabbering about was how much or how less their respective kids study.  I was one of the goody good students, always a rank holder in school, studied hard in college. And till the age of 21 I was clear about my priorities, but  the next year completely toppled my life, a lot of things changed especially my clarity about myself. I took a path less travelled by, the path only few of the fewest took, sitting and reading at hours for an end. All my friends and my phone became so distant that on the day of farewell from college, i practically felt I had absolutely no memories of college. Skeptical, I continued. Then came the first failure and then a job, a job that was good, mostly because I got a break from books after a long, long time. But then, that urge to finish something I had started, the guilt of having left something so wonderful in between made me quit and again grab those million books for hours at end. My friends, colleagues moved on to better jobs, to post graduation and so on and so forth. But I couldn’t, even after everything, there came another failure, which practically shattered my world. Still, without losing heart I had to continue for the sake of so many people who love me, hence I did. Now, even after almost 9 months of unemployment and I-don’t-know-how-many-books later, I somehow find myself all sluggish and tired, when instead a  person in my situation is supposed to be indefatigable.

But the bigger question that has been practically sprinting in my mind is, what is that I am good at? All these months seem to have robbed me of all the optimism I had and replaced it with pessimism and skepticism so much so that, when I received a much awaited interview for content writing in a startup, somehow I couldn’t bring myself to joy . This has been my dream for years, yet all these months seem to have killed the only thing I’ve ever been passionate about.

Signing Off..

P.S. If you are in a similar situation then please do write to me at someoneincrowd@gmail.com. And together, we’ll maybe open a club for the Confused Skeptics.

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